Way back in 2001, Mystery had moved out to Los Angeles to hit on the local women. To cover his rent and feed his ego he’d begun teaching other men his system. Back then, instructional events were always seminars held in hotel conference rooms. The “guru” would stand in front of twenty or more eager students and just… talk. Perhaps write on a flipchart. And that was all!

No evidence. No demonstrations. No interactivity.

The students were supposed to just accept the instructors at face value without the slightest shred of proof that they were any good with women. It was a time of outrageous charlatanry. Mystery’s great innovation was to conduct his instructional events “in field” by going to real bars and hitting on real women, providing a live demonstration both of his method and also his skills. For the time, it was revolutionary. He called it a “boot camp” and typically they were held over a weekend with seminars in the early evening and then the in-field session immediately afterwards.

I wanted to take a boot camp. In my naïveté I projected mythical levels of “mad skills” onto professional instructors and desperately wanted just a little of their awesomeness to rub off on me. An hour searching google for the main PUA companies brought me crashing back to earth. Jesus Christ, £2,000 for a weekend with Real Social Dynamics.

I mean, I want to get better with women. But… £2,000?

It wasn’t cheapness on my behalf. If I was guaranteed success with beautiful young women I’d have handed over my credit card, date of birth, and mother’s maiden name. Empty my bank account all you want, Master PUA, so long as I get to tap top-class ass! There was no lack of desire in me. Rather, I doubted my ability to survive the weekend without a mental breakdown. They’d push me hard, and would I stand up to it?

So I wanted to dip my toe in the shallowest end of the kiddie pool. I looked for the cheapest boot camp I could find, telling myself I’d just see what happened and, if it was okay, I’d spend the big money on the premium guys. This was stupid. Now that I’m an experienced teacher I see this half-assed attitude all the time. People are always half-assing the important decisions, and so was I.

I was stupid, but I was lucky.

There were only a handful of companies offering live events in 2009. The big names would fly in a couple of name instructors every month or so (LoveSystems, Venusian Arts, Real Social Dynamics and so on) but charged well north of £1,000 for the privilege. There was the local big fish PUA Training that seemed to have the slickest package but wanted £800. Towards the bottom of the food chain was PUA Method, charging £300, but even to my novice eye I could see they were clowns.

And then Sarge School was charging £99. A couple of London forum guys gave positive reviews and when checking out their crappy website, I thought they looked cool on the photos. Okay, that’s the kiddie pool for me. It was poor decision-making exemplified but little did I know how much it would affect my life.

I filled in the online application form for the next “beginners” boot camp in July. The following day I got an email for someone calling himself Jimmy Jambone (everyone in the community has a pseudonym, partly due to ego and partly because there are many, many haters who try to destroy you if they think you’re getting laid). He was to become one of my best friends over the next three years and my first Game mentor, but at this moment he was just a guy whose reputation intimidated me.

“Hey Nick. Thanks for your inquiry and booking. It’s great that you’re taking positive action on this path. We’ll send out a detailed email in the week before the boot camp giving you all the necessary information. But for now, feel free to ask any questions. JJ.”

I was too scared to ask anything. I felt like a man caught in a river flood looking up at the rescue helicopter, stretching out a hand to my rescuer. I was determined not to let myself down on the weekend and studied my books extra hard and read the Sarge School site from top to bottom. Two days before the fateful day an email arrived couched in secretive tones. We were to meet outside Borough underground station whereupon an instructor would collect us and take us to the seminar venue.

So at 7pm on Friday evening I made the short walk up from my house. Four nervous men stood in a huddle, furtive-eyed near the Underground exit. That would be the other students. I introduced myself. There was a Polish guy, an Italian, a Scot, and a white-Zimbabwean called Steve. The latter would be my first wing over the next couple of months until he ended up with a serious three-year relationship. We chattered excitedly, and then the instructor arrived.

He was a young guy called Johnny. Nicely dressed, confident manner, and a deep cool voice. He led us away to a nearby pub/Thai restaurant for a couple of hours’ classroom teaching. There was a sense of adventure in the air, like anything could have happened and probably would. Johnny put us at ease with a mix of aimless chit-chat and probing a few personal questions with genuine warmth and interest. Another preconception about Game was being dispelled.

I’d assumed the men who are good with women were all aloof arrogant swine. I assumed they’d lord it over me and seem impossibly far away from my position, unable to relate. Johnny was the opposite. When he spoke to me he turned his body fully towards me, looked into my eyes, and oozed understanding and rapport. This is how good seducers are. They make you feel good about yourself in a very authentic way. They aren’t “playing” you. This is crucially important when talking to girls because not only do they usually need to feel comfortable around you before they can surrender to sex, but they are also extremely good at sniffing out inauthentic and fake behaviour.

Arriving at the dilapidated old pub it was empty but for the Sarge School guys playing pool and chilling at the bar. Seven guys in all and every single one exuded cool. I was encountering a real live “rat pack”, a group of men who had actively worked upon their value and knew how to support and reinforce one another. This was not the clueless ill-coordinated rabble that I called my own friends. It was a class apart, and I was already sold. First up, a charismatic black Londoner called Diamond gave a talk on the basics of Game, including how to “open” in a bar by asking an “opinion opener.” That’s as simple as it sounds—you ask girls for their opinion on an interesting question. At this time Sarge School was using this one:

“My friend is going to take his girl on a trip to propose. He’s wondering where to go. Which is more romantic, Paris or New York?”

It sounded a bit lame, but it was just an ice-breaker. If the girls want to chat they’ll run with it. And if not, no big deal. They can give a curt answer, and you can eject without feeling bad. Remember, I was in a bad way at this time, just five months after the love of my life had walked out on me. I was still broken inside, lacking any kind of selfconfidence. Diamond went around the students in turn asking them what they wanted from Game and women. I was almost choking up when I replied:

“I think if a woman gets to know me, she’ll love me. I just don’t know how to get her that far.”

Yeah, I was pretty low back then. I think Diamond swallowed down some of his own vomit hearing such woe-is-me-ism.

The night went as good as I could’ve hoped. We decamped en-masse to Piccadilly Circus doing warm-up sets on girls in the passing throng outside the bars before heading inside. Diamond was my assigned instructor that night and kept an eye on me, encouraging me, giving feedback, and demonstrating on girls. He seemed so cool and friendly. I felt a warm glow of gratitude that he so expertly guided me through such a stressful evening. I ended the evening with the number of a Moroccan-English girl from Jewel Bar. We swapped texts but she never came out on a date. Around midnight our energy was flagging so the instructors let us go home with an admonition to sleep well and meet up at Borough Station at noon the next day for the day game session.

The scene of many an RSG bootcamp

Life is full of bifurcation points, moments when you’re at a fork in the road (wittingly or unwittingly) and the smallest accident or slightest whim decides which direction you take and yet that radically changes the course of your life. I’d already had a few of them:

• Picking up The Lay Guide one day in HMV, purely from idle curiosity. It had been a choice between that and Killing Pablo. That made me aware Game existed.
• Choosing Sarge School rather than a different company. It had ultimately rested upon a chance recommendation by an anonymous forum member I had never met. That decision would end up protecting me from the various charlatans that often derail a would-be seducer’s earliest steps.
• Johnny was actually the newest member of Sarge School. My boot camp was also his audition with the company as an instructor, and he’d been brought in because he’d begun to build a local reputation as a daygamer (all the other SS guys were night gamers). This would be the first ever SS daygame session.

Thus, the second day of boot camp would prove pivotal. I’d be introduced to a workable method of daygame. It was primitive, suboptimal, and became rapidly outdated but it was something. Had I been left to aimlessly wander parks asking girls what they were reading (“going indirect” in the jargon) I’d have likely given up on day game within a month or two. Instead, this was the second step in what would ultimately lead me to being the world’s top daygame instructor and theorist. A bifurcation point indeed!

Next installment (Chapter One part four) in three days. Balls Deep full book available in PDF here for £10 and paperback here for £20

Now this is just plain chilling. As I read the Murakami excerpt (see link) I was nodding my head and then when I read Vox’s following summary I felt a shiver through my bones:

What is interesting is that Murakami accurately describes many of the attributes of a Sigma decades before the concept was articulated. The young illustrator is solitary, but successful with women despite being physically unremarkable, is likable and makes friends easily, but has little interest in a social life. He possesses unusual motivations and preferences, has strong willpower and a high level of self-discipline, and exists almost completely outside the normal social hierarchies. His interests fall on the obsessive side. He understands women on a level few men do, but has very little interest in them beyond their sexual utility and is more inclined to view them with contempt than place them on a pedestal. Relationships, both friendly and romantic, are open to him, but he instinctively shies away from them.

Vox was the first guy to popularise the notion of sigma (maybe he invented the term, I’m not sure). I was immediately drawn to it because it put a word and concept onto something I’d felt my whole adult life. This is his most striking elucidation of it. Bravo.

My alarm rudely awakened me at 10am, and I rushed through my morning shower and breakfast with a spring in my step then arrived on time at the station to meet Johnny and Jimmy. After half an hour or so of Jimmy complaining that there were no hot girls around, Johnny went off and did a demonstration, plucking the phone number from a cute blond girl in five minutes or so. We were watching him from a distance thinking, “Is this really happening?” Then he sauntered back, phone in hand, grinning. We were dumbfounded.

Johnny would later confide that he was shitting himself. Jimmy was there to check out his game and report back to the team if he was good enough.

He pulled us to one side down a quiet street and taught us the basic approach, which goes thus:

1. Let hot girl walk past you, letting her put a few metres in front of you;
2. Chase her with a playful jog until you are alongside her and slightly ahead, so she catches you in her peripheral vision;
3. Circle in and jump right into her path, smiling;
4. As she stops say, “Hi. I just saw you walk by, and I knew I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t come over and talk to you. You’re gorgeous”;
5. Lean back, look a little inscrutable, and say, “So… Who are you?”

If I hadn’t just seen it work, I wouldn’t have believed it. There seemed so much wrong with it when compared to what I thought I knew about women:

• You can just interrupt women who are going about their day?
• You can just tell a girl, right off the bat, that you think she’s attractive?
• Girls will just give up their phone number after a few minutes?
• And this is done… sober? With people walking past all the time?

I, and the other poor students, couldn’t process it. We felt like having watched a magic show and then the magician comes over and explains the trick. There were so many mental barriers that I couldn’t take it in, even though I’d already tried a few days talking to girls in parks and shops. I said to Johnny, “I find it difficult to open a moving target. It feels like they have their stuff to do and I’m just interrupting, getting in their way”. His response really stuck with me: “That’s tough to answer because it’s not even in my reality. I’m offering them the value, the opportunity to know me.”

This was a major shift in thinking. In the community we call it a “reframe”, a way of replacing a given interpretation of a situation with a new interpretation that is more favourable for you. From an early age boys are constantly drilled with variations of the same message—“You must earn the right to a girl’s intimacy.” In contrast, girls are taught to feel entitled to men pandering to them.

• It’s the knight who risks life and limb to rescue the damsel in distress;
• It’s the prince who must win over the princess;
• It’s the man who must put the roof over the family’s head;
• It’s the men who fight and die in wars to protect the women.

When a little boy cries because he can’t handle the pressure he’s told to “man up” and “pull his weight” whereas the crying girl is sympathised with and given “understanding.” This is just biology. Men give, women receive. It’s the extravagant privilege of being born with a vagina. Back in 2009 this seemed desperately unfair to me, whereas in 2014 I understand being born with a penis is an even more extravagant privilege… if you know Game.

Most men’s frame when hitting on girls is: She has the value, how can I convince her I’m good enough to put my penis into her magical vagina? Johnny believed the opposite—when he meets a girl he’s giving them an opportunity. Woah!

I wished I could internalise that belief.

Johnny went on to say that much of day game is about just creating the opportunity for the interaction. Some girls are going to like you, but if you don’t open then you don’t find out. You have to be in it to win it. These days we call this “flipping stones”, finding out which girls like you immediately based on a quick once-over. It’s an order of magnitude more difficult to turn around a girl who is initially uninterested, which is what I’d later get good at.

Johnny and Jimmy pushed me into six “sets” (new interactions with girls) over the next hour. I didn’t get any numbers but only one interaction was a crash’n’burn where a girl gave me an “eye roll” blowout. Lack of confidence and clumsiness of the execution hamstrung me, but I didn’t care. I found myself overly interrogating the poor girls with rapid-fire questions so much that one girl actually asked if it was an interview. The last two girls showed me engagement rings but smiled at my approach.

And then it was 2pm and all over. We all sat in a pub for a celebratory pint, telling our little war stories before the next night game session began. We had that manic glow of excitement, like having been shot at and missed. The main takeaway was that by the end of the session I felt as if I could do this. I could jump in front of moving girls and open. That was a massive improvement, the magic bullet I was looking for. My next seventy day game approaches were built upon this base.

I’d continue to practice night game, but the seeds were sown for my daygame career.

End of Chapter One

Next installment (Chapter Two part one) in three days. Balls Deep full book available in PDF here for £10 and paperback here for £20

The player’s journey is a lonely one. Since we first sit on our mother’s lap giggling and cooing, we are lulled into the comforting fantasy that people care about us. I used to think a mother’s love is the only genuinely selfless unconditional love in the world but even that is a fantasy. The reality is we are truly alone in this world.

The only person who will put your own interests front and centre is yourself. That’s a harsh realisation, and most of us spend a lifetime avoiding it, protecting all of those pretty lies.

I was never lacking a loving family, so forming secure attachments didn’t scare me. However, from around twelve years of age my best friend (and most popular kid in school) was uprooted as his parents took a job one hundred miles away. Suddenly I had no social coattails to hang on to and my slight weirdness was no longer shielded by a protective association with him. I gradually drifted out of the “cool gang” and into the “outsiders” group. And there I’d stay—first as a metaller, then a punk, then an anarchist, and finally an ex-pat.

So I’d always felt somewhat alone. I’d always had my little social group, but we were all outsiders. My extreme introversion compounded this fact, so I’d enjoy holing up in my bedroom watching zombie movies or reading voraciously. Then, at university, I started boxing. You’re never more alone than when you step through the ropes for a fight and the bell rings. Neither your coach nor your sparring partners can help you—It’s just you against the other guy.

Ironically, learning to seduce women is equally lonely, and we try equally hard to persuade ourselves it isn’t. In the beginning you believe you’re the only person trying this “game thing” and that you must be weird. You can’t tell your friends or they’ll laugh at you or pull you down like crabs in a barrel. God forbid you tell your workmates! There are online meet-up groups of like-minded men learning game but even then it’s more like a collision of independent particles than a bonded molecule. Even now, in a situation where some of my best friends are the world’s most prominent professional seducers, arranging holidays together is like herding cats.

So I just accepted that most of the time I’ll be alone in this journey. Even when with a succession of beautiful young women, I’m alone. I never quite give myself over to the pair-bonding.

In August 2009, not long after my first boot camp, I was yet to come to this realisation. I’d been watching instructional videos and reading textbooks on game, thoroughly immersed in my new hobby. I was already zoning out at work, physically present but mentally absent. My work became that thing to be finished as soon as possible in order to make time to browse the latest Game blog posts, and then I’d rush home on the Underground mentally scheduling the evening’s DVD fare:

• 7pm: Food, eaten on my sofa while watching Mind of Mystery.
• 8pm: RSD’s Flawless Natural.
• 9pm: Interlude to play video games.
• 10pm: Something from David De Angelo until his droning voice made me sleepy.

There was just so much material to consume, I felt I’d never get it. Imagine going to juggling school and the first class is how to keep six balls in the air. It was overwhelming but also exciting. For the first time in my life I felt like I had a real shot at dating hot girls. Once I’ve taken a bite out of something I’m as relentless as a lock-jawed terrier.

I hadn’t really gotten to know any of the guys from Sarge School (they’d later re-brand as Rock Solid Game, or “RSG”), the ones who I’d later become good friends with. I didn’t want to go out on my own without a wing man, and I was also searching for “kindred” spirits, I guess, guys who wanted to learn this stuff as badly as I did, or guys who I could learn from. Either way, I made the somewhat naïve decision that it would be a good idea to go in search of these people via an “underground” community of Pick Up Artists called The London Seduction Society. These men met online in what were called “lairs” to discuss the game and their supposed conquests of women. Hindsight is of course 20/20. At the time, I assumed it was an exclusive Members Only club of master seducers.

Oh, how wrong I was!

There was an approval process where I had to fill in an online contact form answering some questions before being granted membership to the forum. I actually worried they wouldn’t take me, thus carefully crafted my responses. What if they said no? Would I miss out on a oncein-a-lifetime opportunity to learn from London’s greatest womanisers?

One that got away, left

They let me in, and I posted on the meet-ups sub-forum for a wing-man to go out with. While nodding off during an interminable conference call at the office, my phone vibrated. There was a text message from an LSS guy called Diego Armando (the first two of the football star Maradonna’s full name, not his real name). He’s been hanging out in London, allegedly picking up girls, and asked if I wanted to meet. After work the next evening I was standing outside Liverpool Street train station watching the rush hour commuters fly past on their way back to the tree-lined streets of Essex. In the distance I spotted a shavenheaded Mediterranean guy with a grey polyester suit and awkwardly hurried walk. He introduced himself as Diego and my first illusion was shattered. He was quite a few rungs below RSG on the Coolness Ladder.

We started opening girls around the station, but nothing really went anywhere. I did get the number of a Spanish girl called Irati whom I ended up eventually getting into my bed wearing a Japanese schoolgirl outfit but, incredibly considering that circumstance, she was one of the ones that “got away.”

Before long Diego and I were in a nearby wine bar. It was a pretentious place, one of those where the wine is “reassuringly expensive” and it’s impossible to visualise any of the dishes merely from the menu description. Groups of work colleagues stood around unwinding over a beer before a train home. There were a lot of office girls, hence our presence. Low quality girls, according to my standards today, but my standards weren’t all that high back then. I was a little bit desperate.

Awkwardly trying to find my style and sociability

It only took a few minutes until I was chatting to a trio of girls near the bar, asking their opinions on Paris and New York to ease my way in. If I met them now, I would consider them as I do most office girls—too masculine, too chubby—but not having had sex for six months puts some urgency into the drive to get laid.

Diego waited until the conversation was rolling—the set has “hooked”, in the Game parlance—and then joined us. It seemed to be going pretty well when all of a sudden, inexplicably, he pulled a deck of cards out of his back pocket. A full deck of playing cards, and he started doing magic tricks. I was standing there slack-jawed in shock, wondering what the fuck this dork was doing. It was just weird. The girls were looking at him like he was a freak as well. One of them even said, “You really just happened to have a deck of cards in your back pocket?”

This was my introduction into the delusional and downright odd world of pick-up forums. Diego was trying to emulate one of the most famous PUAs in the world—Mystery, who was by trade a magician before he got into the game. Mystery was the star of a reality show on VH1 called “The Pickup Artist” and generally considered a father of the seduction community. The difference here was that Mystery is an actual magician. Diego was a mobile phone salesman for Carphone Warehouse. The girls rapidly lost interest and left. Nothing went right and the ill-fated partnership with Diego died that night.

Next installment (Chapter Two part two) in three days. Buy the full version of Balls Deep in PDF for £10 here and in paperback for £20 here.

I was reading a blogpost yesterday from a guy deconstructing my 2013 daygame stats. He’s a Game dabbler but it’s a pretty interesting blog for a window onto modern London life around Covent Garden. Anyway, one of his contentions is that daygame has an extremely high cost-per-lay once you include the opportunity cost of not going to the office because you’re on the streets.

I immediately thought that was a weird wrong-headed comparison. Now, this guy was just musing and throwing ideas out there. I’d be surprised if it’s a position he’d actually wish to defend in serious debate, but it did get me thinking. His argument goes as follows:

Day Game is a whole other thing. If you do it systematically, it’s financially horrible. The hidden cost here is that Krauser’s spare time is not free: he’s an IT contractor in Financial Services and those guys make upwards of £400 a day. He could be earning six figures annually, but chooses not to. It’s a rare contractor who works all twelve months a year: let’s assume he could work six months a year. If I’ve followed his year right, he’s done a three month earning stint in 2013. In nine months he gets thirty lays, so in six he gets twenty. The extra ten notches are the benefit of his chosen lifestyle. The extra ten notches cost around £25,000 in lost post-tax income. That’s £2,500 a notch. Yikes! And those notches are almost all one-time: all those girls who are “on their last night in London”?

Summarised with this advice:

Good-quality escorts go out for £250+ an hour. That’s the benchmark. Pay more than that per lay and you need to re-examine your choices

The natural conclusion is that we should all bang whores. I’m pretty sure you know instinctively that’s wrong. Let’s explore why.

A waste of £250, yesterday

Within the statistics community they talk about how reading a stat only really tells you that somebody counted something somewhere. It’s a human process. Some phenomena lend themselves readily to interval data (e.g. height, weight) while others are more problematic. For example, what is the “biggest” video game in the world?

• Is it GTAV because it had the biggest launch?
• Is it Elite because it has the biggest gameworld?
• Is it Mario because it’s the franchise with greatest total sales?
• Is it League of Legends because it has the most simultaneous online players?

Before you start measuring something you have to decide what is important to measure. What are you actually trying to find out? Only then do you get into the next problem of how to measure it. To continue the video game example, let’s say by “biggest” what you really mean is “which game makes the most money?” So now you need to make judgements about what money is counted – is it physical copies sold? Is it “seats” per online distribution? Is it recurring monthly subscriptions and in-game purchases? How you count it determines if you end up with Call of Duty or World of Warcraft.

Note I’m not saying statistics are meaningless. I’m saying they aren’t simply “fact”. They tell you something, but you have to know how they were collected and they need to be interpreted. So let’s return to Game laying an additional piece of groundwork.

Per the scripture of Tomassi, there are two types of sex: transactional and validational. A girl fucks you either as a tool to extract something from you (money, fame, access to a lifestyle etc) or for the sheer joy of the act. At the extreme transactional end is prostitution, at the extreme validational end is burning love. Most men most of the time get sex that is weighted towards transactional, but are instinctively dissatisfied with it. Men want to be desired and loved for who they are, not as a means to an end.

And this gets us to why cost-per-lay is pretty meaningless. At worst, it’s a smoke screen for a monger to fudge his way into claiming to be equal to a player. Economists and accountants know all about “externalised costs”. That means excluding costs from a calculation so as to make the transaction appear more profitable. Say for example you spend about £100 every time you go clubbing and you get laid approximately once every four nights (which is pretty damn good work). That’s £400 per lay. But what costs have you externalised?

• Hangover the next day
• Hours in an unpleasant environment
• New clothes to wear at the club
• Missed opportunities to do something else that night
• Decreasing health

Those lays might cost you a lot more than £400. But then again, maybe you really enjoy nightclubs and have a blast every time you go. That £400 is buying you a ton of fun experiences in addition to the actual lay, so shouldn’t you be costing some of the money to a different activity (the cost of having fun on a Friday night) rather than the cost-per-lay? Perhaps you’ve also externalised some “income” too and that while clubbing you get such a good vibe that you make great male friends. Can’t you also apply that to the calculation?

Now let’s get into the quality of girl. In a cost-per-lay calculation there are two sides: the cost and the reward. There are all different accounting treatments to apply to the cost (as noted above) and the same concerns apply to the lay itself. Is an annoying fat slut as satisfying to bang as a virginal Russian catwalk model? McDonalds will always beat Byron Burger in a cost-per-burger but is that really the correct calculation? Remember the whole purpose of collecting a statistic: you aren’t really trying to measure the burgers, they are just a proxy in your attempt to capture a rather more nebulous concept – human satisfaction at an action.

A satisfying human, yesterday

This is one of the central insights in the Austrian theory of economics. Value is not contained within the “thing”. Value is a subjective calculation carried out in the mind of the consumer of the thing. Much the same applies to the valuation placed upon the costs – most of Game’s costs are in effort and emotion, not cash, and thus they are not amendable to simple interval measurement.

So let’s pull this together into comparing daygame with whoring. Here’s a crude rundown of the cost-per-lay

Whores

• £200-ish for an hour, one-time sex
• Girl is probably a physical 7, maybe 8
• She’s damaged goods in health, wear’n’tear, and mindset
• Transactional sex. She doesn’t give a damn about you. Probably has contempt for you.

Daygame

• £10-ish for anywhere between one-time sex to multi-year MLTR
• Girl is probably a physical 7, maybe 8 (for me)
• She’s in the upper echelon of freshness and pleasantness
• Validational sex. She really fancies me and loves having sex with me.

It’s foolish to ignore the intangibles in daygame. To return to the initial quoted costing, I don’t want to work in an office. I do the minimum necessary to fund my lifestyle and even if I wasn’t doing daygame I wouldn’t go back into the office to maximise my income – I’d just read a book, or play a video game. My decision to not earn as much as possible is not an opportunity cost of daygame (as the earlier quote) because it was motivated by something different entirely. I happen to enjoy daygame. When I’m “on” I hit a flow state which simply can’t be bought. Flow must be earned whether by daygame, sparring, climbing a mountain, sledging with huskies or whatever else it is that lets you temporarily grasp its blissful absorption.

Once you have made the jump from primarily-transactional to primarily-validational sex you have completely changed the nature of the interaction, and with it your whole view of life. Banging whores rots your soul. You know they are rotten and you know you haven’t achieved a damn thing by poking your dick into their diseased orifices. Banging younger-hotter-tighter is uplifting. It makes the sun shine almost every day as you achieve something so special as to be akin to street magic.

Set difficulty to “Belgrade”

Cost-per-lay and it’s bedfellow notch-count are infantile measures. It’s like comparing a golf score without including the handicap. Those stats do tell you something, especially if you make an effort to render constant all other variables, but when you hear them bandied around the internet you’re probably just witnessing a combination of ego-shrimping* and barrel-stepping* from internet blow-hards, or a series of meta-weasels so the writer can reconcile himself to not cold approaching.

* terms to be defined later, see if you can guess.

I put this little episode down to bad luck, like an aberration. A week later I met a Belfast native from the LSS called Paddy. He was a good guy, and I liked him. He was just a normal guy, not a weirdo like Diego, thank God. He always looked intense, I’m not sure why, but he turned out to be fun to hang out with.

Paddy and I decided to go out one night to a Shoreditch bar called Cargo. It’s an Indie bar, a really “hip” place with a noisy dance floor, beer garden, and bar area. The beer garden was great on a warm summer night. The club was crowded with university students and hipster chicks. By the time my friends Steve and Devak showed we were a pint to the good. Steve was the first guy who I had met on the boot camp recently, a nice guy from white Zimbabwe who had recently come out of a bad break-up. We remain friends to this day.

A great bar-game venue

We were all making the rounds, and as I was coming out into the beer garden I spotted two young black girls. It turned out they were Somali sisters, maybe eighteen and nineteen. The younger one was built really nice with a big ass and big tits. Her hair was long and she was just really pretty. Her sister was just okay, nothing special. Paddy had gone on ahead and was walking around the bar, so I start talking to the girls solo. I find out the hot one’s name is Hibaq. Her sister was Haweeyo. I doubted I’d manage to say that while drunk.

Steve joined me. I could tell that the hot one liked me. She was making eye contact and giggling at everything I said, so I suggested we go down the street to another bar called the Elbow Room to play pool. This is a technique called “the bounce.” It’s both an early test of the girl’s compliance to your leadership and also a demonstration of that ability to lead. If the girl is willing to follow you, she’s interested. These girls agreed. The Elbow Room is another pretentious status-whoring indie bar but I like the 70s retro vibe and pool tables.

A game of pool gave us plenty of excuses for casual touch. We would help the girls adjust their pool cue, line up shots and so on, allowing a touch of hands or soft, brief pressing together of bodies. Not much more advanced than the seduction techniques seen in a high school disco, really. Hibaq was letting me kiss her but, because of my hesitation and lack of self-confidence, she got away that night. I did get her number, and we’d texted for a while, but I could never get her to commit to a date. After a few weeks it just kind of died off.

About a month later, Paddy and I were out in Cargo again. We’d finally found a gameable weekend bar with that correct combination of pretty girls, open-plan seating, and music that doesn’t reduce you to shouting at each other in monosyllables.

We were in a crowded bar area, just behind the four-deep crush of revellers ordering drinks. A drunken girl walked towards Paddy and smiled. He instinctively put his hand out; I think originally to shake hers. She took his hand, and he pulled her in and just started making out with her. At this point I’d only kissed one girl in nine months, the Somali from a previous week. And here was Paddy making out bar centre with this girl that he hadn’t even met. They broke free, and she went to the toilets. He never saw her again, but I just thought it was so amazing. I asked him, “How did you do that?”

He grinned and said, “I don’t know, I just pulled her in for a kiss and it worked.” He was pretty proud of himself, and I was pretty impressed as well. It seems like a small thing now but this was the stage of wideeyed wonder newbie players go through. Remember the context—I was thirty-four years old, had never been good with women, and I still barely believed it was still possible for me to pick up a hot young girl. Even in my university years that would’ve been a memorable event.

As we were headed into the beer garden, I saw the Somali girls sitting at a table near the back. Hibaq gave me a guilty look, thinking I’d be mad at her for not replying to my texts. I played along, giving her a parody evil look and wagging my finger at her. She giggled. Game on.

Paddy and I went over to their table and chatted for a while before beginning to initiate what we call “mini-isolation.” This is when you get the girls to turn away so they’re not directly looking at each other. It’s a relief of the psychological pressure that often keeps a girl from otherwise doing things she might want to do if she weren’t being watched.

Paddy got the sister facing him, and they were talking. I grabbed Hibaq and pulled her up onto my lap. She was giggly and a little bit drunk. Her thighs were over mine with her lower legs dangling between. The left side of her ass was hanging off the side of my left thigh. I could have literally reached up and grabbed a handful of ass with my left hand.

I put my face close to her ear and started dirty talking. She was regaled in seductive tones about how great her tits looked and the risk they might be taken out right there and mauled. I told her I wanted to lick and roll her nipples between my teeth and nibble them softly.

This might seem like a strange time to bring this up, but when I was about two years old I had an ear condition that made me semi-deaf. By the time surgery corrected it I’d developed a stutter so I was sent to a voice therapist. It was a roaring success. Now I have no trace of a stutter and great vocal projection. That’s great for picking up girls. Loud and clear says confident and sure of yourself. That night, however, I happened to look up at Paddy as I dirty-talked and he was laughing. Pretty much half the bar was in on my conversation. The sister was sitting there with her back to us, acting as if she hadn’t heard a word, but squirming uncomfortably at occasional verbal embellishments of mine.

Hibaq was also squirming and giggling by this time and getting really horny. I slipped my hand up where her ass was hanging off and slid it under her skirt. I started fingering her through her panties and along the side where it was skin-to-skin. She loved it, and by then my hard-on was pressing against her ass.

I said, “Let’s get out of here.”

“I can’t,” she said. “I have to go home with my sister. We live with my parents, I can’t stay out.”

I had already checked out the bar. There was no feasible place to have sex without getting busted and thrown out. It seemed that first Game lay would elude me again.

“How about you suck my cock,” and she said, “Okay,” readily.

I took her hand, and we went up to the front door. At this time of night they were charging a cover of about ten pounds to get in. I asked the bouncer if we could get a hand stamp, go out, and come back in. The miserable bastard wasn’t having it, saying we’d have to pay to get back in. I said, “Come on, we’re just going to be like five minutes, have a really quick smoke and come back in.”

I was still a cubicle drone without any kind of cool vibe

He was likely fully aware he was cock-blocking me and just didn’t give a shit. I was suffering blue balls and pretty sure that if I could get her out in the alley for the blowjob, I could probably just spin her around and fuck her right there. What a story that would be—banging a nineteen-year-old large-breasted Somali in the alleyway behind a bar. But no, nothing doing. As I was to learn many times over in the subsequent years, fast lays live or die on momentum and if you come to a screeching halt it’s probably lost forever.

I went home alone. Hibaq and I texted on and off for a while, and then one night she messaged:

“Do you want to fuck?”

In hindsight, I should have been dominant and said something like “Kennington station. Nine o’clock. Best underwear and biggest smile!” But, I said instead, “What? Now?”

That reply just leaked weak conviction. Half an hour later and I hadn’t gotten a response. I called her and could hear her sister in the background. They were giggling and she told me it was a joke, her sister had gotten a hold of her phone. I didn’t really think that was the case, I’d just failed a test. Nevertheless, I never saw Hibaq again, and I’d have to go back out onto the streets to drum up more new leads.

Next installment (Chapter Three part one) in three days. Buy the full version of Balls Deep in PDF for £10 here and in paperback for £20 here.

I’ve been enjoying my writing of late. Now that I’ve had a bit of practice in reaching that final full stop at the end of a long book, I’m starting to review my writing style and apply the same concepts of continuous improvement that characterised my apprenticeships in academia, business, and game. So, I’ve been re-reading Teach Yourself Writing A Novel. It’s a good book. Maybe not worth the $169 some sellers are asking, but then again I bought it in Waterstones ten years ago for £7.99

Writing can’t be taught, only learnt. This is because it’s an art not a craft, and most of the progress is internal – inside your head. Consider this quote from the book:

“A novel comprises two aspects: the craft, that is, the mechanics of it’s construction, and the art, namely the quality of its construction. The mechanics of writing can easily be learnt: a page of diagrams can be memorised, a list digested. Quality, however, is more difficult to learn, for it can’t be reduced to a formula. Quality is the indefinable mystery of writing, the relationship between words which is as much the product of the space between the words as the words themselves. A good writer isn’t just a wordsmith, he is someone who can see quality in the world and can somehow translate that on to the page.”

Inquiring minds have probably already tumbled to my game here. It is tempting to see Game as a blueprint, a Mechano set with precise instructions to assemble. Once a guy has tried and failed with that attitude it’s tempting to now renounce Game as “robotic” or “unrealistic”. Like writing a novel, perfecting your game is about learning the rules and then finding the magic that hides between the spaces.

Living the dream

“Apprentices work under craftspeople so they can study their technique, and novel writing requires an apprenticeship just as much as furniture making. At first you find yourself copying other writers, certainly, this was so in my case: my first novel began as a pastiche of many different styles – from Jane Austen to D H Lawrence to Kurt Vonneguy. In the end it is vital you find your own voice.”

While strolling down a Marbella beach in January, Steve and I were chewing the fat of life. A thought came to me that I repeated aloud: “Steve, there’s a big difference between you and I. You’re a hunter and I’m a craftsman. This difference shows up everywhere in our game, our hobbies, and our approach to business.”

Daygame Mastery is a finely-honed artifact, the literary equivalent of a gothic cathedral (to one reviewer). The book is an expression of the same mindset that produced the London Daygame Model that it outlines – craftmanship. I admonish readers to pursue excellence and to admire any and all masters of their craft be it the engineering of a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport in real life or the lovingly optimised 3D engine that renders it on your Playstation 4. When you can appreciate the sights, sounds and tastes of excellence you can radiate with happy vibe.

“There are three qualities an aspiring writer needs in order to have success: luck, talent and hard work. Writing a novel requires stamina. When I began my first novel, I leapt into it as though I was running a hundred-yard dash. A few weeks passed and I found myself pausing to catch my breath. I had barely finished the first chapter. A novel, I realised is not a dash, but a marathon. A few months passed, and I realised my metaphor was wrong – a marathon, even at walking pace, can be completed in a day. Perhaps the writing of a novel was closer to an extended pregnancy. A few years passed and I realised that again, I had got the wrong image. Bar any mishaps, there is something inevitable about pregnancy. There is no such certainty for a novel. You could work on a novel forever without coming to its end – there is nothing inevitable about completing it.”

Herein lies the Player’s awakening as he progresses from the magic pill “let’s get this handled” stage into the ominous realisation of just how large a job he’s taken on. He’s grabbed the tiger by its tail. Having swallowed the red pill and accepted the fundamental principles of game (that your SMV can be raised, and your value delivery can be improved) you can’t unsee it. You’ve blindly walked into hell and can now do nothing but follow Winston Churchill’s exhortation to keep walking. In the Blueprint Decoded, Tyler likens it to clawing your way to the summit of a mountain and then as you stand atop, you can suddenly see a much bigger mountain over the crest – the real peak had been hidden from sight at ground level. Falling down a mountain is easily accomplished by the simple act of letting go. Climbing up is an active strenuous process. There’s nothing inevitable about it.

“Of the three qualities of luck, talent and hard work, it is the last with which you should make friends. The successful novelist is a stubborn, brave and single-minded individual. Antisocial, perhaps; misunderstood, almost certainly; confused and afraid at times, unsure of their talent, regretful of their mistakes, envious of their peers – a successful novelist may be all of these. But he is also a brave pioneer.”

The book then turns to a discussion of how to get ideas to write about.

“It’s a frustrating fact of the creative life that motivation alone isn’t enough to produce a work of art. We need a spark, a germ, a seed. A novel is not a machine – you can’t build one. A novel is more like a bonfire: you can lay as much firewood as you please, but without a spark you’ll get no heat.”

This is how it feels to grind out the sets on the streets. We know Game requires the homework – the laying of firewood – so you’ll read the instructional books, watch others in set and deconstruct them, hit the gym and so on. You’ll schedule time on the streets to talk to girls and begin internalising the method and sharpening your calibration. But at what point does it “click”? When do your results improve and the lays begin trickling through?

“C’mon, I’m overdue a lay”

These things can’t be forced.

“Don’t resist being chosen. I see it a lot with my students: an idea tugs at their sleeve, but they ignore it because they want to write something more noble, or exciting, or intellectual. And generally the results are what you would expect: strained and artificial. But when students recognise the wealth of material they already possess, they can access their greatest asset as writers: their uniqueness.”

Now we’re talking about freedom through structure and of harnessing your creativity rather than forcing yourself into a cookie-cutter daygame robot with the “you look French” and the arm-folding exactly forty-five seconds into the set. While you’re laying the firewood by slavishly implementing the model – the imitation stage comes before assimilation and then innovation – always be alive to the ideas that spring to mind. Don’t ever fear going “off-model” when your muse presents you with an interesting direction to turn the set into a new direction. Just as a novelist has the ability to edit every word later, you always have the ability to open more sets. Take a chance this set. Game to the full extent of your ability and see where it takes you. Even if you get yourself in a tangle, you can reboot any time.

“How will you know if your story is any good? There is no way of telling, short of writing it, but try asking yourself these questions. How excited am I by it? Do I care enough about the issues it deals with to stay with it for six months, a year, two years? Don’t think of the market at this stage. At the beginning, the person you should be thinking of is yourself. Does the story appeal to you? It is you, after all, who will have to write it.”

Game is a hobby for the self-absorbed. You won’t get good by trying to please your fellows, or by trying to impress random people on the internet. You can’t worry about the other pedestrians walking past as you talk to the girl, nor can you really give much care to what the girl thinks. As you begin writing the story of your game it is all about you. You are the hero in your novel.

Later, you’ll need to give more consideration to the other protagonists and bit-part characters. You will have to sensitise yourself to the girls – how they think, what they want, how they react to you. But at no point will you ever subordinate yourself to other people’s interests. At the beginning of the novel, you’re staring at a lot of blank pages. You need to fill them, and that means grabbing your quill and dipping it in the ink. At that early stage the focus is on you – what do you want to write. Write the story you’d like to read.

So, I’m quite enjoying this Teach Yourself Writing A Novel book. I’m hoping it’ll help me refine my craft because that’s one of my sources of flow state.

Hunters will tell you it’s about chasing down the prey in the most efficient manner possible. Nihilists will tell you it’s about extracting the bang on whatever pretext. Both will work and if they appeal to your personality, have at it. When you dip into my work know that you are seeing a different personality express itself – that of a craftsman with an eye for detail and a joy for the process.

That’s the beauty of Game. The blank pages are just a platform upon which to perform your own play. The direction will be an expression of your character. In the beginning you may look to War & Peace or Fight Club but when the apprenticeship is over you’ll have something uniquely your own.

Now try re-reading all the above quotations but replace “writing” with “gaming”.

It’s natural when recounting stories to focus on the success and compress all the boring bits so you can get to the highlights. That’s what good story-telling is and when out in the pub with your friends it’s a sure way to a fun night. When you’re telling pick-up stories this compression has a few side-effects:

1. It sounds like you’re having nothing but success;
2. The listener gets insanely jealous at the thought everyone is getting laid more than him.

People hate the idea that they’re missing a trick. Pretty much every spam email offer that lands in your inbox is based on this psychological quirk, and thus they promise you the ONE EASY STEP to lose weight/ get a bigger dick/make your first million/bang hot chicks. Usually it’s some kind of new underground secret that “they” (the powers-thatbe) don’t want you to know but, for a limited time period, you have a chance to discover the secret.

Funnily enough, they aren’t far from wrong. They are almost right, but for the wrong reasons.

Most men really are missing a trick with women, there really is a “secret system” (or more correctly, some simple principles), and the powers-that-be really don’t want you to know it. The part where the Internet marketers tell a rather fat lie is about it being one easy step. It’s more accurate to call it four years of pain and struggle.

But let’s consider the Availability Fallacy, which states that information which is readily available to you will be given a higher priority and loom larger in your mind than information that is less readily available.

Philosophy departments have been teaching this one in Informal Logic classes for decades. As it relates to pick-up, you’ll tend to over-estimate the victory stories people parade in online forums and marketing letters and under-estimate the failure stories that you may have to dig about for to find. I’ll tell you right now that in the time period covered by this volume of my story, I failed with over two thousand women.

One easy step

But unless I hammer the point home, you’ll forget that by the end of this chapter. You’ll focus on the lays and get the impression I was slaying right-and-left with wild abandon. Don’t say I never tried to convey the failure rate! So let me really drive home the point that game, for an average-looking man, is a grind. Failure is the base state and successes are rare blips that get creamed off to form the War Stories anthology.

I was hitting the streets every weekend throughout the summer and autumn of 2009 practicing the same direct opener time after time. On any given day I’d talk to between five and twenty girls, taking a couple of numbers and perhaps having an instant date (taking the girl onto a date immediately from the street interaction, without a break in between). Sometimes I’d get them out on dates later, but they’d go nowhere.

It was frustrating.

By September I hadn’t been laid for eight consecutive months, and I’d only kissed one girl. I’d probably spoken to about four hundred of them and had a dozen or so dates at least. It was always the same pattern— she’d turn up to the date quite keen and then gradually lose interest in direct proportion to how well she got to know me. They’d never seem to be in the correct position for me to go for a kiss and, if I ever tried to bridge the gap, I’d get artfully rebuffed. I pored over forums, books, and instructional videos but couldn’t get anything to work.

To be fair, there was no good instructional material out there for dates. The PUA literature that gave direct practical advice was focused entirely on the initial meeting in the bar or club. Once you had the phone number you were left to flounder with just a few simple highlevel principles. That’s all changed now, and there’s some excellent “date game” material that breaks it down to micro-level actionable advice. But in 2009 it was all shit.

The biggest problem, though, was my ineptitude. I didn’t have any confidence that I knew how to move a girl towards sex (“escalation”) and I didn’t feel attractive. I’d go on dates thinking I still needed to convince girls to like me and my lack of self-belief would seep out. I still had all the broken pieces jangling around inside, the after-effects of divorce. But I was impatient to get laid, so I kept reading, and eventually I stumbled upon a blog post describing the Apocalypse Opener.

The writer swore that this was a fool proof way to get laid. Just do it right with enough girls and one of them will bite. Okay, I’ll try it. I wasn’t lacking dedication. It goes like this:

Me: Hi, I’m Nick.

Her: Hi, I’m Girl A.

Me: What are you up to now?

Her: Blah blah, whatever.

Me: Would you like to come home with me?

The key (apparently) is to look her dead in the eye and hold your fucking ground. She’ll be taken aback and then scrutinise you briefly for any wavering. And then, sometimes, she’ll just agree.

Like most pick-up advice it’s really a part-completed sentence. The instructor says something like, “This really works” when the full sentence is “This really works… if you’re already the sort of guy who gets laid quite easily.” I tried it about twenty times and got nothing. Really, what did I expect? The most memorable of them was with a sexy Greek ballerina I had met walking outside the National Portrait Gallery in Charing Cross.

It was September 5th, 2009, Saturday afternoon and my mother was visiting London so I did the honourable thing and met her for lunch and coffee. I was totally open with her about my new hobby which she was obliquely supportive of. She was rather contemptuous of my ex-wife and viewed me as the aggrieved party. She’s also a psychologist and a realist so she wanted her son to get himself together and meet some girls. After she went off sight-seeing I met up with an Indian guy called Sai who had been winging with me recently to squeeze in an hour’s street work.

The very first girl I stopped was the Greek dancer. She had shoulderlength brown hair, slim muscular legs, and denim shorts. I got in front of her and opened:

“Hi! I had to stop you. You’re gorgeous.”

She smiled, muttered thanks, and I hit her with the ONE EASY STEP: “Would you like to come home with me?”

She smiled and said no. Ok, Plan B. “Um… okay. Is that coffee from Pret?” It was.

“Cool. I normally go to Starbucks myself. I like the coffee of the day though, to be honest, if I’m gonna spend a long time in a cafe I normally do Caffè Nero because they have those lovely distressed leather sofas… blah blah… bullshit.”

One of London’s great daygame beats

She invited me to walk with her, and we headed down to Trafalgar Square.

The next installment (Chapter three, part two) will be posted in three days. For the full Balls Deep in PDF for £10 go here, and for the paperback for £20 go here.

She was really pleasant, asking me about the opener, and do I do this much. I was hyper-honest in what I said (though I withheld the sheer scale of my approaching and subsequent failure-rate) saying, “I’m a fairly direct guy. When a man approaches a woman it’s always based on a sexual dynamic. I see no reason to try to sneak in under her radar.” She suggested I could be a little more roundabout, like asking her something normal.

“Yeah, I suppose, but that’s not me. Give me some feedback then. How did you feel when I said that?”

She smiled again. “It was kinda shocking… but cool.”

Ever the motor-mouth, I continued, “It looked simple but there’s a lot going on there. When a man stops a woman he’s got to demonstrate value without scaring her or being creepy. It could’ve sounded really weird, but instead I was just putting the option out there. I wasn’t trying to persuade you to have sex. I put it out there as non-needy. I like sex, but I don’t need it.”

She was called Eugenia. We swapped numbers and after she walked off she called me two minutes later to check that she had the right number stored. She’d briefly mentioned a boyfriend in passing, and that she lived in Covent Garden. She suggested I join her in a bar after I was done in Tiger Tiger nightclub later that evening. We swapped texts the rest of the day:

Me: You’re still thinking about it ;)

Her: A little! Doesn’t happen often in London!

Me: But all the time in Greece? I’m at Tiger Tiger.

Her: Yea, Greece is a little bit different. I’ve just hopped into the bath…

Me: Bath texting? You’re weird

Her: Thanks… multi-tasking? lol. ur in a bar with ur mate and ur texting… that’s equally weird. lol

Me: Make sure you soap yourself properly.

Her: Thanks for the tip, couldn’t have done it without u. lol

Me: I’m helpful like that.

I later realised what was really going on in the subtext of this interaction. Girls have a dual mating strategy that is commonly summarised as “Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks”. This means they pursue both high quality male DNA and also long-term protection and provision. This gives the player his hack, his way in. Girls are hard-coded with the potential to step out on their long-term partners in order to access better DNA. They’ll call it an “indiscretion”, a “mistake” or an “adventure” but the important point is that it happens.

The London Daygame Model is designed entirely around exploiting this quirk of female nature. However, in September 2009 the LDM didn’t yet exist, and I didn’t know about Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks. My proposition to Eugenia had identified me as the consequence-free adventure sex guy and she was showing herself amenable to a secret liaison, with the usual trepidation and cautiousness before proceeding. I just lacked the wherewithal to pull it off. These days I’m all over it, but back then she was one who got away.

I left it for the week and then on Thursday a hot Colombian girl blew me out on an early evening date. I called Eugenia. She picked up right away and after a five minute chat she invited me to Bar Salsa saying her male friend was teaching there but she wasn’t dancing, so why didn’t I join her. I should’ve agreed, but I didn’t have the confidence to enter her territory and hold my frame. I envisioned myself being tooled by more charismatic men who know everyone in the class, being excluded from conversations she had with her friends and other silly social nightmares. It was a mistake. I should’ve just thrown myself into the mix to see what happened.

Next, while out the following day, I restarted, late on while I was in Cargo. The whole time I was trying to follow PUA text game advice, particularly the maxim from Roissy’s blog—send only those texts which you’d be comfortable having appear on a jumbotron in front of the whole world. Meaning, if you aren’t comfortable with your text game being public, it must be weak.

Me: Old Street tonight.

Her: I’m off to the cinema tonight but could meet up later if ur around.

Me: Yeah, that’s a plan. Text me when you’re done.

Her: OK.

Her: *later* Would you like to meet in Covent Garden or is it too late for you?

It was 11pm. I called. I said I’d be finished with my friends at midnight and then I’d call to arrange to go over to her place (she was home). Midnight came, I called and no answer. Twice. I texted, “hey” to no response. Fuck.

Next morning at about 11am I got this:

Her: Hey Nick – I’m so sorry about last night! I fell asleep in front of the tv, didn’t realise how tired I was.

Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, in a speech by Brutus in Act IV, gives a beautiful conception of Alpha Fucks: “There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood leads on to fortune…” Whereas the Beta Bucks guy is omnipresent with his provision of attention and resources (she was living with her boyfriend) the girl’s Alpha Fucks needs rise and fall like the tide—and specifically with her monthly ovulation window. She’ll only have a tiny window within which motive, method, and opportunity are aligned to sneak out for adventure sex. As a player you need to be alert for that and take her at the flood.

I’d missed my chance.

We arranged a date for later in the afternoon. I was already in town, sitting in Caffè Nero off Covent Garden reading Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead. I wanted to be in a state where I was self-amused and not anxious for her to come. Every date felt like entering a math exam and I needed to micro-manage my mood. She arrived and we sat outside in the sun. I was leaning back, trying to show “alpha” body language, and we connected instantly. I really liked this girl. She was smart, selfassured, and much prettier than I had first realised. It turned out she was a model and had recently has been posing naked for artists. She was also a dancer. We chatted a lot, and I kept with the authentic honesty.

This was still during the period of my voracious reading of all things seduction and psychological, so I’d also gotten a book on speed-reading people. We discussed that, and Eugenia really lit up when I outlined her character according to the book’s model.

She suggested moving on to St James’ Park so off we went. I initiated touch with upper arm touching, pulling her in with my arm around shoulders, and later around her waist. She pleasantly stayed comfortably close but didn’t respond by putting her arms around me. Again this was something of a calibration error. It’s generally a bad idea for the “secret sex” guy to be touching his girl in public—that’s exposing her to the risk of being caught, and undermining the whole secret society vibe. Except for fleeting moments to spike her energy levels, touching should be restricted to private environments.

I ended up talking about my interest in social dynamics and about the alpha/beta/omega male hierarchy, and sexual chemistry. She was going along with it all. I teased a bit, we joked. It was just very, very pleasant. I felt totally relaxed as if there was no judging between us, and I wasn’t trying to impress.

This experience would be the beginnings of a flavour I’d later successfully add to my pick-ups. I was trying to be as authentic and radically honest as possible, even overtly discussing the nature of malefemale interactions. This is now integrated into my instructional guides as “breaking the fourth wall” in which you discuss the meta-level nature of your own discussion. It’s highly effective in getting girls to quickly agree to sex, but in 2009 I was just fumbling in the dark with little idea it was to become a sophisticated tool. I’d recommend beginners avoid that stuff entirely.

Three hours in and we were sitting outside another cafe when I tried to escalate a bit more and fumbled a key test. While I tried to pull her in, she resisted, put down her sandwich and said, “You know I have a boyfriend?”

Ah, I thought. I’ve read a good answer to this on the Internet! I looked her dead in the eyes and with a low even voice replied, “I don’t care.”

The effect wasn’t what I’d hoped. She took a few bites of her sandwich then told me, “Well I do. It’s his flat I live in. I just don’t want to mislead you.”

I tried to keep a brave face, but I was crushed. I’d thought I was in. This was a beautiful, smart girl, a dancer, and the very first thing I’d said to her was a proposition for sex. And now I was in the friendzone! LJBF’d from the Apocalypse Opener… just let that sink in for a moment.

The reality was I’d had my chance and blown it. She’d asked me to walk with her a minute after my opening proposition, she’d invited me out to a bar, she’d invited me to her home late at night while her boyfriend was out (but fell asleep, at least that wasn’t so much my fault), and then accepted another date. Wannabe-seducers would likely interpret this story as her just being a games-playing cocktease who wanted to tool me for attention and, unfortunately, that’s the conclusion I came to.

But it was wrong. She wanted Alpha Fucks, and I’d come up short. Even at this last test about having a boyfriend, I’d misread it. She didn’t want to mislead me into thinking there’d be a relationship, but I’d misinterpreted her to be refusing sex and putting me in the friendzone. Even at that late point in the interaction if I’d had a stronger sense of entitlement and stronger escalation I could’ve taken control and got her into the bedroom.

Next installment (Chapter three, part three) in three days. Buy the full version of Balls Deep in PDF for £10 here or in paperback for £20 here.

Almost every guy who gets into Game suffers from the same affliction – he’s too nice. That’s how we’re brought up. Be nice, be courteous, do that right thing. It becomes internalised so that we are the living breathing agents of the Feminine Imperative. Thus an important strategem in your early days of game is to crash the car. You never know how fast you can take the corner until you press the pedal to the metal.

Last night I put that to the test. I was on a first date with a Russian girl I’d met a few days earlier. Heading into the date I was not too enthused. I seemed to remember her as being fairly plain. Then she showed up dressed in her best clobber and I thought “mmmmmm”. Long legs, tight ass, long hair. Then she told me she’s eighteen. I immediately texted Tom: “I might be a bit late. She said she’s 18. It’s worth another hour.”. Then, as I grabbed her throat and threw her against a piss-stained wall she flinched. I put her hand on my dick and her eyes grew wider than a raccoon on cocaine.

“You haven’t touched a dick before, have you?” I politely enquired.

“No” she squeaked.

“Are you a virgin?”

“……. Yes”

Epic win.

So I pulled her hair and rubbed her pussy. Might as well crash the car. So in the spirit of rapid escalation here’s a video of me quite literally crashing a car bobsleigh*

* Note the speed. 48km/h is pretty damn good.

The grind continued all through September. I took a week off work to spend ten straight days daygaming, ten sets a day minimum. There’d been too much half-assing it, so I wanted massive action. Mental pressure was willing me out because deep in my gut was a sickening dread at being blown out by a procession of girls and perhaps peering into the abyss—that I’d never get good at this. Eugenia had inadvertently knocked my confidence. So every day that week I followed the same ritual, trying to impose the illusion of control onto the scenario.

I’d go to a Caffè Nero and sit on the big brown leather sofa watching the Blueprint Decoded instructional videos on my laptop until my sexual desire/desperation overcame my anxiety/avoidance. For example, the first day:

Monday 14th September. My mind was full of big plans and motivational self-talk. No excuses, I was going to turbocharge my stats on approaches. It didn’t matter how I felt, or if my wings were busy, I’d go solo and just plow through. Received wisdom in the community is you are a noob until you’ve completed one thousand sets. I was at about four hundred and very impatient to improve. Having a full-time job restricted my daygame to weekends so the solution seemed obvious— take time off work.

I’d spend the first hour in Caffè Nero reading. It was still not quite lunch time and Covent Garden was deserted so I didn’t feel like I was descending into avoidance. Finally, I stepped outside and straight into a hot Belgian dancer. I opened weakly, but she stopped and chatted. She was in a hurry to get to the Pineapple Studio for a dance class. I knew something about that stuff so I rambled on about dance, contemporary dance, how my dancer-ex had a careless grace in her movements from all the dancing. Blah, blah, blah. She was not interested, and my attempt to take her number led to an awkward refusal.

It only took a few minutes to shrug that off, and I saw a dusky Mediterranean girl walking through the market. She stopped briefly but either didn’t speak English or was seriously unimpressed. She smiled, waved her hand dismissively, and disappeared without a word. Next was an English girl carrying shopping boxes. She didn’t stop, but smiled, thanked me, and said she was late getting back to work. One more open got me a stop but nothing doing.

Damn. My forehead actually felt tight, such was my poor state. It was like the skin was too tight for the size of my skull. I’ve since learned that is how to recognise when I’m pulling the “creepy face” caused by poor state.

I persevered. On Shaftesbury Avenue just past Forbidden Planet an Asian girl came towards me. She was young, and had just started her first day as an intern in a fashion magazine. We chatted a bit. I was too talky and too outcome dependent, but she didn’t seem to care. She checked the text she was writing as I approached, so I told her off for not paying attention. She giggled and twirled her hair. I made a mental note to self–set arbitrary boundaries and playfully tell a girl off for breaching them. She gave me her number but never replied to my texts.

Another instant date to nowhere

I got myself blown out a few more times on Oxford Street before a hot English girl gave me her Facebook. It was weird because the whole time I was thinking she was wanting to get away, and I was struggling and just talking into the space, yet it was five minutes or more in conversation and after getting her Facebook I kept her another few minutes talking about her Geography Uni course she was about to start her second year in. It didn’t go anywhere. It’s common for beginners to think the length of the interaction is directly related to how strong the resulting contact details will be. This isn’t correct. Ultimately, you’re trying to create a particular emotional impression upon the girl while also ticking off checkboxes marking particular signals she needs to give you to show she is available and into you. If you accomplish that in two minutes the number will be stronger than if you dither around chatting for twenty minutes but fail to accomplish it. So while advanced day gamers can quickly take solid numbers (or eject when it’s not forthcoming) it’s common to see beginners getting dragged into over-long conversations that go nowhere.

The last approach of the day was a pleasant failure. I opened a hot Lithuanian in Carnaby Street. She was ambling around aimlessly, which I took as a generalised approach invitation. My forehead was really tight, and I was having a tough time. My vibe was horrible, but I was determined to just press on and grind out the sets. She stopped, smiled, hair twirled, and indulged me for ten minutes. I could almost visualise a hologram of a graph between us showing a downward slant as I continued to lose my confidence throughout the whole thing. I tried to take her number and she was very explicit: “I don’t want to exchange details”. Fair enough, on that performance she really shouldn’t have.

I was getting some good reactions but no success

The first day of my daygame “vacation” resulted in talking to ten girls, taking one number, and one Facebook. Neither of those two girls replied to me. At the end of each day I’d analyse the work and write a blogpost of my learning points. Self-diagnosis is a crucial skill for seducers because no-one else is going to help you. Quoting my blog, this is what I felt I’d learned:

• I felt crap but took right action anyway. Good work.
• Even with shit state I still had good enough fundamentals to get one decent number.
• I didn’t worry too much opening sets. The poor state was once in-set. Only a few months ago I wouldn’t even open five sets when in good state.
• While in set I knew consciously all the mistakes I was making, even as I couldn’t stop making them. The biggest one was outcome dependence. I really wanted to get numbers and was worried the girls would walk away and leave me feeling shit.

Lesson learned. Back out tomorrow.

It was also this week that I went to an LSS talk at London Bridge on “game for men over 35” organised by a guy called Curran. It seemed perfectly pitched to me, but I was so lacking in entitlement that I worried I’d be refused entry because at the time I was thirty-four. I actually emailed Curran a few days before to ask if it was okay. As if they’d check my passport and throw me out!

The event was unremarkable, held in an upstairs function room of a pub by Tower Bridge. About thirty older gentleman packed the pews while a short ginger guy called London Playboy gave a talk, then Curran and then a lanky Scotsman with the online pseudonym of Skeletor. His real name is Colin and, though neither of us knew it then, he’d become a major figure in my journey. At the time I was very impressed with his presentation about identity and how to change it. I tried to get pally with him afterwards on his smoke-break but there was a ring of eager older gents two-deep around him that I couldn’t penetrate.

I’ve spent the past week in Prague whiling away my time in a pleasant manner. I spent a couple of days servicing my rotation, then Tom Torero rolled up with a cameraman and we spent two days filming infields. A couple of near misses with local ladies ensued and by the time rain and cold sapped all the fun out of the streets, I’d also hung out with a US guy who’d learned the ropes in stateside and was now on an extended Euro-Jaunt.

Phew! A busy week!

While rambling on to this US guy about daygame I was once again reminded how deep the skillset is. Imagine sitting Gary Kasparov in a bohemian Prague cafe for a few hours and encouraging him to discuss chess – the gambits, the meta-theory, it’s relationship to real life (he actually wrote a book on that topic), and the way personality expresses itself in your game. I think those few hours would quickly spill over into days.

Now, Kasparov is rather better at his chosen skillset than I am at mine but the point is that daygame is deep. I’m sure nightgame is too, but I don’t know so much about it.

You look very…. oh, fuck it. Coffee break!

A fortnight ago I solicited a few intermediate daygamers to watch my instructional program / theoretical exposition Daygame Overkill and to use it as a launchpad to relate their own theoretical insight. My instructions were quite broad, words to the effect of – “Here’s a free login. Watch it, relate it to your own infield experience, and pick up some themes to explore. Don’t worry about being positive – in fact, try to make some real criticisms to encourage debate.”

Over the next week or so I will be posting three different daygamer’s thoughts on Overkill. I hope this will stimulate some discussion and I strongly suggest my readers chip in with their own thoughts in the comments (which I’ll respond to). Some of the themes we’ll hit include:

• Fine tuning your style to fit women’s dual mating strategy
• Differences between relying on verbal and non-verbal communication
• Choosing your targets wisely
• How my personality reflects itself in set, and how yours reflects itself differently to mine

So without further ado, here is the first essay from Tom Juan – A UK-based guy who has been enthusiastically hitting the streets for a year now…….

I managed to watch all 335 minutes of Daygame Overkill within the space of two days (let’s just say I had a flexible two days, and even found the time after one of my now pissed off never to visit again f-buddies left my flat just last night!) and so the timing of this arriving on to my virtual desk was perfect, needless to say… And with one or two other slack, “take it or leave it” f-buddies on my rotation, I watched Daygame Overkill with much anticipation and with much hunger.

The key question: Has this hunger to learn something I’ve never seen expressed in such a “simplified” manner been sated? All will be revealed…

But I PROMISE I have absolutely tried and tried to cut this review down to a bare minimum, which isn’t easy considering I had 3,000 words of notes to work from (I’m a fast typer since I used to be a Direct Response Copywriter)… And notes that require expansion as the theme Krauser raises in a mostly eloquent manner (beside the occasional ball-scratching and pint-swigging), is simply fascinating. This theme centres around a level of masculinity that us as men in the 15% of Western societies where we are overall exclusively monogamous, have forgotten. Or never dared to even explore fully… And in my one year of feeling lost and confused because I simply can’t and don’t want to settle down (been there, done that), with this product, my justification to be a man is concreted more fully.

The Introduction

Upon starting to watch this, I was impressed by the film-worthy motion graphic titles, introduction clips and feature film clip, even though this was a little “over-egged.” Then on to the introductory Welcome video before the main event… How does a noisy bar presentation fit it into these slick motion graphics??? This seemed completely juxtaposed to the incredible film-like introductions.

That aside, since I’m sure there are downsides we can accept considering Krauser isn’t your “bells and whistles” kind of chap, this product seems to potentially go hand-in-hand with his book or virtual book (can you call it an ebook?), Daygame Mastery, which he later explains is a reference book, not a tips and strategy guide. And that Daygame Overkill is a simplified version of this book, so if you need the theory (nope – just download directly into my brain by watching what you do please), then to refer to the book to delve deep into the who, how, what, why etc.

So is his book Daygame Mastery needed to work alongside Daygame Overkill?

I think the overall suggestion is no, but it depends on whether your the kind of guy who needs to have it laid out in complicated jargon, or if like me, you “get this stuff” on a deep level just by seeing it explained on a simplified level to camera– but again, we all have different learning abilities so although he didn’t say this, it might be a good idea to read it if just watching clips and following his reviews of the infield footage isn’t enough of an explanation.

The most groundbreaking thing about this intro video and product in general, in a nutshell, is the “K” selection vs. “R” selection concept, one which in my acute awareness as a learned daygamer (aware of who else is out there), has never been explained and triggered on a deep down “AHA!” moment in me before. And this is the most eye opening thing about the product because it makes you feel okay about wanting to fuck a lot of women… to put it bluntly.

In a nutshell, Krauser is bringing up the comparison between the nice guy boyfriend daygamer to the lover, sex-based daygamer i.e. R-selected.

Lover / Provider discussion in the Welcome introduction

The only other time I’ve seen this explained is in one of Tom Torero’s videos where he delved into the lover vs. provider model, but he just said everything overlapped and there was no black and white, whereas Krauser is the living, breathing example of the black yet still being “kind of normal” at the same time, unlike the R-selection comparable RSD hyper-dudes who don’t ever seem to come down from PUA night game-centric, American (mostly) yes girl fucking heaven… Still valid, but not so relatable.

What Krauser is good for, is being relatable as someone you could meet in a pub and have a beer with, even if he filmed his infields with a hangover…. wtf??? And has a pint in hand in the venue of his talk while going through the Q and A section…

Okay for Beginners?

So it begs the question… is this product any good for beginners??? Or does someone need to be out on the streets getting flaky numbers after being that “nice guy” first before realising that this is the holy grail for him, to stop those boring first dates where you don’t even try and kiss her (wtf?) and get either friend zoned or boyfriend zoned (I don’t know which is worse)… Personally I’d say the latter, as a complete newbie probably won’t get the entirety of this. Unless, he has the sex drive of a tiger on heat, and just wants to take a bit of a short cut that might cut out the pain, yet not allow the excitement of knowing how to overcome the obstacles a newbie nice guy daygamer has… and even knowing this stuff, it will take time becoming socially calibrated enough to get away with a lot of the stuff Krauser is showing.

Even I will have to have my results damaged by changing my ways since I will be trying a new method and although my long term success will be better (including SDL’s or first date fucks which I’ve had only one so far), I might find it less congruent in the beginning and therefore this will affect my results. And for a newbie there is still that initial “wtf do I say to a hot girl?”, let alone “how do I do what Krauser does?” bumps to get over…

So as an ideal goal to hit, it’s great for anyone. But for someone to go out and practice this stuff, it really is an intermediate product.

What if you want a girlfriend? And has he done any market research?

Krauser assumes that having a girlfriend is a bad thing – yes I personally 100% agree but what if there are guys out there who would be happy settling for a hotter, tighter and younger gal to fuck every night and get a pad with, and who knows, have kids with (let’s just say I was one of those guys since I’m a father to two beautiful boys), until of course they get married, they both get bored and they probably get a divorce (got the t-shirt). But aside from that, some relationships work, so what if there are guys genuinely gunning for monogamy?

Therefore I think he should explain that even if you want a girlfriend, it’s still better to be that r-selection boyfriend who is the prize, rather than the nice guy daygamer K-selection boyfriend. Put simply, you can “choose” with this approach, rather than “settle.” Krauser also takes the general stance that most men are K-selected daygamers, rather than r-selected. How does he know this as gospel? Personally I think that a lot of daygamers mix the two, and get it right when they throw in a larger percentage of r-selected, which I have done with the girls I’ve closed way more quickly in the past.

So instead of classifying most men as “K” selected, he should take more of a subjective perspective and see it as fluid ie. most guys will be K-selected in 80% of their sets, but the ones where they are r-selected (20%) will be the ones that net them the quick results i.e. not having to go on 3 dates or more before you get to fuck her. And it’s this fluidity that is missing in his explanation, so instead of being black and white, he should see it as it is – a mixture of the two, and suggest that to improve results and get more success, up the r-selection vibe and diminish the K-selection vibe. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t coach and sees the world through his own eyes (fair enough), but a wider perspective here would have been better in my view.

It’s true as Krauser suggests that most guys are non-sexually-threatening and therefore it doesn’t lead to sex, just nice conversations and numbers, because the women are still getting validation and attention, although she will never text you back, but it’s simply within us naturally as men to be r-selected as well so we can’t help but play on that when we are at our best. Therefore it’s simply about being aware of how to bring our r-selected best version of ourselves, rather than learning something that is acquired like school children – my point being, that the r-selection traits are already within us! It’s just about learning how to draw them out… (try not masturbating for as step one!).

Breaking the model down in the Welcome video

So let’s get to the juicy part – the talk and the infields!

Krauser explains that the infields consist of 10 girls in Zagreb, Croatia within the space of 3 days, October 2014 and within a 1 mile square radius of each other. The first question in combination with alarm bells that hit my brain was – why only over 3 days? Why not commit a week to get the cream of the crop absolute best out of this guy and WITHOUT hangovers… (wtf???) Regardless, he ramps up the theory and makes it really clear about being “social savvy,” “secret society” (I fuck hot girls all the time and I know that you know that I know that you know that) and the powerful sub communicator, rather than “wanna fuck!??” approach and style.

He also brings up his average stats as around 1-in-30, which is twice as good as mine so at least I know I’m watching the right guy to help me improve my results two fold… (everything is crossed). In part 2 of the talk, Krauser points out that everything you do should point to the r-selection. You want her to think you’re the bad boy or asshole… because that box is where all the action happens, even if she’s taken since she knows you won’t give up the game when she fucks you on the side etc – ie. you won’t care about her boyfriend and try and steal her away.

He also talks about risk taking, “birdsong,” that mixing up r and K will really hurt your results, the importance of being the guy who can handle being anonymous, covert sexualisation and how he mixes this in with fractionation. And finally, the cold, hard, fact, that if you go down this path, you are a service provider in “adventure sex.”

Nuff’ said…

Then the talk comes to a penultimate moment where you are about to see evidence of Krauser’s recent lays…. then, Nooooo! Why can’t we see proof of these “younger hotter tighter” girls!?? I’m totally deflated by that… on advice of his mum? (as written in text on the video to cover up these obviously explicit images)… Yet this then raises the question… Shouldn’t his “mum” be telling him not to do any of this full stop? Instead of “just” the part where he proves the type of girl he’s laid for the past year? – and a part which you would have thought would solidify Krauser’s reputation even more firmly, rather than piss you off and make you want to think he’s not so great because of the simple frustration at being denied these, and because you want to be inspired by these pictures so you are driven to succeed with the “younger, hotter, tighter” types yourself…

That’s at least how I felt at this point. So I urge Krauser to include these even if it’s a special VIP bonus that you have to pass some kind of test to access.

Part 3 of his talk expands more about vibe and goes on to explain the 4 pillars of daygame alongside more of an elaboration on covert sexualisation, plus an analogy between poker and daygame – “lose small but win big!” And finally, the importance of compliance tests – I can’t wait to start putting this one into practice! (Again, something I’ve done without realising but never consciously knowing – this will allow for escalation). The Q and A section is where Krauser has a pint in his hand and he starts scratching his balls occasionally… classy! Seriously, leave it alone! And he provides a continued explanation of “vibe”, integral to success in daygame (you can’t be a miserable bastard and succeed).

Infield Overview, in Brief…!

It’s clear that these infields were filmed by his mate Bojangles and were not of a professional quality, not that this is always an obstacle but you want to get the best for what you pay for right? The content however is the most important thing but it seems this was an unplanned affair which turned into a product – sometimes the best way to go, but it would have been nice to know that a little more care and planning (especially as three of the infield analysis’ were filmed from the same pub he filmed the introduction from – just a little budget I’m afraid) had gone into this product you are paying good money for…

With the ten infields, I’ll be honest… I was impressed by six of them, and two of them I thought were at the level of MPUA. Four (maybe three because it’s good to show him ploughing with an out-and-out “no” girl) of them simply shouldn’t have been included, for various reasons. I could go deep into each one and pick it apart bit by bit, but it would make this review double the length, and it would also kill the mystery. However his analysis of himself is great – concise, to the point and elaborates on areas where it’s important to do so.

You also see Krauser calibrate differently to different women and environments. The two where he had results were obvious as to why he got those results, and one in particular would have eaten any novice daygamer alive! Yet she seemed to get a taste of him within a few days of the interaction… He only goes into minute detail where he has diagrams ready within the video on one of the sets, and with the other one that I was blown away by, you can’t see her face which is a real shame, but with the way she was talking, she must have been a 9 or a 10. This makes me think – why didn’t Krauser have a pocket camera as well as the “from a distance” camera perspective?

Underground seduction, yesterday

There are certain things Krauser does that you would never notice unless they were explained, especially in the nuances and sub-communication, and for the sets I was impressed by, I would watch those again once or twice just to ensure I’ve fully soaked up what I need to learn to allow me to progress to the next level by implementing the same. As mentioned earlier, why not hit the streets for at least 1 or 2 weeks, not necessarily going out every day but having a good range of infields to choose from instead of having to include four sets that in my opinion shouldn’t have been included.

He is showing us the kind of “no” or “maybe” girl in one of these, but I actually think he could have done better in three of them (one was just your typical “no” girl), for example not getting the hook point before suggesting a coffee/date/number? Come on Krauser… And not seeming to have built rapport on three of them enough for them to be a solid fuck close, as he does date two of the four but it doesn’t really go further other than a make out.

I’m being super critical because of Krausers reputation and obvious results in the past few years, which obviously I wouldn’t apply to just anyone, but if further explanation is required I would be happy to provide it.

Conclusion

My conclusion is that this product is definitely worth buying especially if like me you are intermediate and so far work hard for the number and then have to work hard for the eventual sex… And because this is groundbreaking in that no one else has so far had the balls to elevate this r-selection theme to this level before, in a way that is relatable, it’s probably the only product out there that will cover both the theory and the practical with conciseness and a few laughs (admittedly Krauser is funny), so I would buy it just on that basis.

The in-fields could have been better – two are bloody amazing and four are really good, but four of them disappointed me… So if those four were replaced with good, solid sets where the results speak for themselves, he could make something already ground breaking “even more” groundbreaking.

The six that were awesome-to-good are worth watching more than once so that you really get the nuances, that won’t ever be explained in a YouTube video and leave you even more clueless as to when you started, so you are basically paying for his own analysis which certainly has value.

The one question remains…. What does Krauser do on a date to secure the sex? Maybe a sequel that covers this is soon on its way to your inbox…. Watch this space

Tom J

Thanks Tom. I hope this stimulates some debate in the comments. Daygame Overkill is on sale and available here. Further discussion pieces inbound soon. You can read more about Tom and watch his infield videos at SmartSeduction.com

My feet ached.

The inner lining of my brown biker boots had ripped so a little fold of material was pressing against my ankle and the left heel was asymmetrically worn away from many weeks pounding the streets. The toes of my sock were wet from stepping on a loose paving slab that splashed water as it wobbled underfoot. These are the trivial annoyances of winter daygame—the hobby of prowling busy shopping streets to pick up beautiful women gets tougher when the weather turns. I’d been out four days straight through wind, rain, and snow. It was beginning to wear on me.

Covent Garden was wet and dreary that day. I had an enthusiastic young student in tow. He was a young, nerdy, socially awkward kind of guy with an unkempt shock of black hair combed unconvincingly over a thinning crown. The kind of guy you’d expect gets laid about once a year maximum. He was upbeat and anxious to learn, so I was taking him around for free. I wasn’t really qualified to teach but I’d opened about one thousand girls and was at least getting some dates, so LSS guys even less successful than me wanted to hang out.

I pulled up the collar of my fur-lined flight jacket and pulled my woolly hat down to my eyebrows, then jammed my numbing hands deep into my pockets. It was December 30, 2009. A cold, damp typical wintery London day, New Year just around the corner. Christmas decorations cluttered store windows, long streams of golden tinsel framing displays of snowmen and reindeer. As dusk approached, the fairy lights adorning lampposts and street signs began twinkling in the reddening sky. Everywhere I turned people were milling, jostling, and scurrying for that last sale item. Some rushed purposefully to and from their destinations as others strolled along dreamily, shopping the stores with their eyes, or watching as the street performers put on a show for their pleasure and their tips. Lovers strolled hand-in-hand and looked at the sights. Japanese tourists with comically oversized cameras took pictures of everything.

This seasonal fauna of street life was a blur to me. My attention was on the fold of cotton pressing awkwardly against my ankle, and whether I should find a seat to take my boots off and fix it. Little things loom large when daygaming due to the high pressure of the activity.

Covent Garden in winter

I was sold on daygame now. I loved that there was an art to meeting a girl in a public place and getting her number, perhaps taking her for a coffee there and then. It’s the first step in getting laid. For most men it’s a strange, intimidating but fantastically liberating experience—just imagine walking around the streets scanning for pretty girls and then, when you see one, you just walk up and make a conversation from nothing. Make her laugh, make her curious, and hopefully fuck her a few days or weeks later. For a guy conditioned that bars, nightclubs, and Internet dating sites are the only places to meet women this is an eye-opening thought.

Any girl. Anywhere. Any time.

I was still somewhat new to the game, having stumbled and mumbled through what was now six months of approaches. I had yet to get laid, but I had gotten some basic competence at drawing girls into conversation and getting numbers. Sometimes the girls would even come on a date. That’s what my student was looking for that day. I was still hurting from my devastating divorce from a woman with whom I’d shared the past nine years. We had dated for six and were married for three before she walked out on me that January. By the time I was trawling these Covent Garden streets at the end of the year she had already remarried.

It was almost a year since the separation, and over six months of Game. I was reflecting on the year, as we are wont to do when New Year approaches. Was I headed in the right direction? I’d initially promised myself a six-month commitment to Game to see if it worked and if I could learn it. So how was it working out?

In the early months of 2009 I allowed myself to wallow in the unfairness of it all. The self-pity that comes from being dumped enveloped me. Outwardly, I was the same guy I had always been, but inside I had been smashed into a million pieces, like a jigsaw box emptied onto the floor. I was glad I’d tried something, lest I allow myself to sink deeper into the pits of despair.

I thought back to the Tony Clink book I’d picked up and then reordered earlier this year. A gaudy red book with cover art of a slick lounge-lizard guy surrounded by beautiful women. It promised the secret system to meet and attract women, sleeping with different girls every week. So, although married and in love at the time, I read it from idle curiosity, and it had stung. It’s like the author knew my whole life. I replayed memories of all the girls I’d dated, laid, or failed with and every single time I could relate it to his system. I believed him. Then I loaned the book to a friend and forgot about it.

In business I was successful, having always been at the top of my class from the time I was four years old right through my Master’s program. Every single year I came top at everything. Soon London beckoned and a career in investment banking. I was so focused on professional advancement that I never noticed the lack of women around me. I’d just stumble into a relationship and gave it little more thought. Wolf of Wall Street it wasn’t. I wasn’t one of those rare guys who had girls throwing themselves at him an university and thus graduated with a First Class degree in Entitlement.

As my student and I strolled along through the busy streets, talking to a girl here and there, I suddenly heard someone singing flutter in the wind behind me. A sweet, feminine, melodic voice seemed to tinkle like water in a mountain stream. It was so sweet and uplifting. I turned to look and behind me walked a pretty young black girl. She was wearing a set of headphones, singing along with the music. I smiled and turned back to my student, and almost at once wondered what I was doing. I couldn’t ignore this opportunity. Today I was the teacher, but I was still in the game myself, and she looked like someone that I’d really like to get acquainted with on a horizontal and naked basis.

Turning back towards the girl I motioned her to take off the headphones. She gave me a wide-eyed inquisitive look, but obediently took the buds out her ears and returned my smile.

“Did you really just start singing in the street?” I said.

She smiled again and giggled a bit. “Yeah, I like this song.”

Her brown eyes were large and her long hair hung in curls to her shoulders. She looked to be in her early to mid-twenties. I would find out later that she was twenty-six. My eyes scanned up and down. Decent height, full breasts, wide hips, quite possibly a good ass. She’d do.

“People may think you’re crazy,” I challenged. “The only people I see singing to themselves are also carrying a can of Special Brew.”

It was easy. She was in a great mood and she liked me. My student stood off quietly to watch me work, absorbing what he could. I teased a little, and she laughed. I could feel a spark of attraction between us like the crackle of electricity. Something undefinable in her eyes and manner telegraphed, “I want this guy.” Back then, I was actually terrible at picking up on such signals but she was throwing them out so strongly I couldn’t miss.

“I have to get back to my friend there,” I told her, “But let me take your number and we can have a drink sometime.”

That is how I met Rakiya, a young medical student of Nigerian descent but born and bred in South London. She’d be the first black girl I’d ever fucked. Her number stored in my phone I bid her goodbye and strolled away, re-joining my student with a smile on my face. Perhaps this curvy minx would be the one to finally end my year-long dry spell, and allow me to complete the whole daygame process from beginning to end.

Next installment (Chapter Four, part two) in three days. Buy the full Balls Deep book in PDF for £10 here or in paperback for £20 here.

There are certain changes a man must make in his daygame journey as he progresses through the learning curve. In the beginning it’s pretty simple: approach. Most noobs are terrified of rejection and tangled in a mess of limiting beliefs about what women want and how to deliver it. So on 90% of boot camps and one-on-one coaching sessions the strategy is simple:

• Give him some simple lines
• Psych him up to dive into opening

And that’s pretty much it. There’s only so much a student can learn when simply walking up to a girl and opening your mouth is a death-defying act. We tried to teach theory on beginner’s bootcamps and it just doesn’t work. The student’s adrenalin is inhibiting any ability to absorb complex information. It’s the same in boxing – first few times a guy spars his technique disappears and he’s suddenly chin-up, flat-footed and swiping air like a clumsy bear.

This problem can be fixed over time. Repeated exposure drills the muscle memory and reduces the adrenalin. Eventually the noob can calm down in set and begin to see what’s in front of him.

Five hundred sets later he’s acclimated to daygame and can start plotting his jump up to intermediate. This is when he must move from “social” to “sexual”. He already knows how to begin a conversation with a stranger, and he can spot when a girl gives him a topic and then run with it. So he gets hook point a lot and many flaky numbers. He’s now become the chatty guy.

That’s not daygame. It’s have a nice chat with a stranger. That’s a valuable skill to have and it represents progress but as an guy at this level can tell you it is immensely frustrating. Once in a blue moon he’ll encounter a Yes Girl who just needs to be gently eased downhill towards the bed but it’s rare. Most of the time he’s getting into interminable chats that end with a phone number to nowhere. If he’s able to do this with hot girls, he’ll have a YouTube channel and offer bootcamps because it’s not until you’re intermediate yourself that you can easily see through the smoke and mirrors.

So the strategy for this guy is also simple: go sexual. As a teacher, I’ll tell him:

• Take some risks
• Get close to her
• Throw in sexual spikes

I’ve noticed the main barriers to a man implementing my advice are emotional, not technical. What I ask from him is technically easier than all the social stuff he’s doing. Really, all I’m asking him to do is take one step forwards, and repeat some simple one-liner spikes. A monkey can do that. The fact he’s already hooking and number-closing means he’s no monkey. It’s an emotional barrier.

He’s addicted to picking up pennies in front of the steamroller. Consider this quote from a review of Nassim Nicolas Taleb’s book The Black Swan:

“Another human failing stems from the nature of happiness. In the short run, people’s happiness is often shaped more by how many “positive events” occur in their day than by the arrival of one important piece of good news. Winning $100,000 in the lottery feels almost as good as winning $1 million. We therefore look, consciously or not, for small but repeated successes when we should be shooting for “one large win.” It’s easy to see why: Big payoffs come only rarely, and perhaps late in life; in the meantime, who wants to keep on feeling like a loser?”

There are many sweet hits of validation during a ten minute street stop. The first one is when you overcome your AA and open the girl – you get the thrill of having mastered your fear. Next is when you reach hook point, she has just validated you with the “this guy is interesting enough to chat to” thrill. A bit later you collect a worthless number but in the moment there’s the thrill of the number close. It’s all very validating, and by the time you’re five hundred sets in it’s a pretty regular occurrence. It’s also painting yourself into a corner because insiduously, you’ll be moving away from effective daygame. Instinctively you know the following “play it safe” tricks will maximise the amount of validation hits you get in one session of daygaming:

• Turn off sexual threat
• Let the chat meander towards rapport and common ground
• Hide intent

This period is immensely frustrating because you’re “taking action” and “doing daygame” but any time you get laid it’s basically luck. You’re fooled by randomness. The step to Intermediate means taking control of the process again, instituting a tighter cause-effect relationship between what you do and what results you get. And your results will get worse before they get better. Your “easy win” validation hits will actually reduce. We’re now chasing the $1 million lottery, not the £10 scratch card.

I consider myself an advanced daygamer. I’ll talk a bit more about what this entails later, but in this context it means I deliberately court micro-failure. Anyone watching me on the street sees I get lots of blowouts. I have no patience with ten minute chats-to-nowhere. I’ve walked that road and it’s frustrating. Now, I want to find a girl, put my schtick on her and get a quick Yes/No/Maybe answer so I can either try to fuck her or else next her and find the girl who will fuck me.

So I open aggressively, I immediately step in on her, I lay the eyes on, and I bust her hard in the first minute. She knows exactly what I want and that I don’t expect to wait a long time to get it. She also knows she’s free to leave at any time. These days I often see the wheels of her brain turning as she weighs the pros and cons of adventure sex.

The result is more blowouts and more lays. And if I was to post a day’s filming on YouTube the comments would all be “dude, why can’t you get more numbers?”

The next morning I woke up to New Year’s Eve. I was still living in a grotty one-bedroomed flat in Kennington, a rundown area that felt more like Lagos or Kingston than the land of my forefathers. My housing estate had been built in the 1930s and probably never updated since. There were metal security bars welded across all ground floor windows in my block due to the crime problem—any time I read about a fatal stabbing or shooting in the London paper it was a fair bet to be nearby. The only reason normal working people lived there is it’s centrally located and cheap—I could walk to my banking job in just thirty minutes. Never underestimate the squalor of London living conditions. Despite earning near £100k per year the punitive taxation, mass immigration, bureaucratic incompetence and creeping socialism of London life meant I lived in a shithole. And paid £1000 per month for the privilege.

It was usually fun times with the RSG gang

This was far from the best time in my life. Working like a dog fortyeight weeks a year, having seventy percent of my income stolen from me by an assortment of taxes so that I could live in a squalid damp flat and sleep in the bed that I’d shared with my wife less than a year earlier. And I wasn’t getting laid.

I’d think, “Is that all there is?” I’d worked hard at school, graduated University top of my faculty, gone straight into a high-pressure high-achievement professional apprenticeship and then risen up the corporate ladder through dedication, talent, and a little good luck. Yet here I was, almost thirty-five years old, single, and living next door to a workshy immigrant family who had exactly the same apartment as me but paid for it with welfare funded by taxes stolen from me while I paid the full market rate. Just a week earlier the council had replaced the windows of every apartment except those of the people who actually paid their own rents. So the immigrants had new double-glazing and I had draughty single-glazing.

I’d done everything society asked of me and done it well. Yet here I was, living in squalor, alone, with no idea where it had all gone wrong. Dark thoughts filled my mind back then. The only faint light of hope in my life was this secret system of Game. Looking back it sounds silly to be so pessimistic but having your heart broken and then enduring a twelve-month dry spell will do that to a man. That’s where my obsession would come from, the driving energy that would eventually turn my life around.

It was decadent but perhaps not how they meant it to be

New Year’s celebrations bore me. Being somewhat introverted, the idea of being at a party or a club where it was standing room only was not enchanting to me in the least. Neither were the obnoxious mark-ups on the cover fees and drinks in London bars. But, like I said earlier, I was new to this journey. I had become friends with some of the RSG guys and keen to cement it. They were the “cool guys” and I wanted to continue to broaden my social circle and be a part of their group. The longer I hung out with them, the more I could learn. In those dark days it was a lifeline, what felt like my one shot at happiness. My new friend (and leader of RSG) Jimmy had invited me out for New Year’s Eve with a group of the guys. So I went.

The plan was to meet up at a Shoreditch bar-club called “The Last Days of Decadence.” Shoreditch is renowned for its party scene, frequented by a diverse demographic, mostly hipster twats. Last Days is a throwback to the Roaring 20s prohibition era from the stained glass windows to the cherry wood bars it’s an exercise in old school indulgence, like a bar from Boardwalk Empire. It encourages retro evening formal dress. After a few stiff whiskeys I’d feel transported back in time, the perfect atmosphere for ringing in the New Year.

I sent Rakiya a feeler text to see where I was at with her. Men who are new to Game are usually shocked at the flake rate—the amount of girls who will give a phone number then never reply. Even now when I’m pretty good and know how to solidify a number I still expect at least half of the girls to flake. Back then it was closer to ninety percent so even though the energy and sparkle had been good on the street I wasn’t expecting much. I sent this: “Hey Jimmy. I just met this Nigerian girl. She’s cute and sexy but looks like one of those sex perverts you warned me about. Should I date her?”

She understood the joke and responded almost immediately.

“Hahaha, you should be careful! I recommend you run away from her.”

We pinged a few messages quickly and my spirits rose. So many recent interactions had been a waste of time but this one stuck. She had high interest. I also found out that she lived quite close to me. A few hours passed, and as I was showering, my phone vibrated. Wiping my hands dry on the towel, I reached out from the shower cubicle and checked my messages.

“What are you doing tonight?”

Fucking score! Not only was she fishing for a date invitation (an extremely strong sign of interest for a girl, due to them usually taking a passive role) but she was trying to spend New Year’s Eve with me—one of the few get-drunk-and-damn-the-consequences nights of the year. I was almost shaking in anticipation.

I replied something or other and she called. After some quick chit-chat I told her about the evening plans.

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” she told me.

“I think it will be. Why don’t you join us?”

“I’d love that,” she said. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was excited.

“Great!” I told her. We arranged to meet up near the Imperial War Museum an hour later, then I scrambled to get ready.

Jimmy lived just a couple of minutes’ walk away from me, also in a squalid little two room flat with his mate Tomasz, also an RSG guy. It was funny to be on the inside and see how these guys really lived. Jimmy and Tomasz spent most of their time sitting around in their boxer shorts and watching DVDs on their laptops. It was as if they turned on a different persona when they walked out the door. We had a can of beer each, then I popped out to collect Rakiya. She was all smiles and warm energy, so I took her to Jimmy’s then we got a cab into town.

Last Days was predictably jam-packed. It was like stepping into the 1920s—if that era had also been popular for trashy tattoos, binge drinking, and obesity. It’s jarring to see a chubby foul-mouthed English woman swilling cocktails while dressed like Marlene Dietrich. That’s how my vibe was in 2009—whereas now I find beauty in everything back then it seemed like British culture was a festering sore rotting through a once-great nation. At least the music was good.

Rakiya was dolled up in a yellow dress and with her dark hair and skin she looked very cute in it. Like a big sexy banana. I’d noticed she was a bit chubby, but her smile and her youthfulness were nice and it was so long since I’d gotten laid I wasn’t being too selective. In addition, I’d never shagged a black girl, unless you count a quickie with a prostitute in Prague five years earlier. Game is great for satisfying sexual curiosity.

We shuffled through the crowds until finding the rest of the team. Jimmy brought along an older woman he’d been banging because she was a famous songwriter and producer in the US. Betty was blonde and slim but pushing forty and pretty haggard from all the booze and cigarettes. Not really a catch, you might say. Jimmy wanted to get his band signed while I got the impression that Betty was using him for the bad boy sex. Jimmy was a decent looking thirty-one year old guy. Imagine Liam Gallagher, the wild and moronic frontman of Oasis, and then turn the volume down a little. Jimmy was astute, talented, but also slothfully lazy and not willing to put out the effort to reach his full potential.

Also with RSG that night was Mick, an Australian raconteur gifted with the ability and wit to tell a story that would have the entire room spell-bound. Mick was always the life of the party. He had held down a wide variety of jobs in his twenty-eight years of life ranging from a croupier on a cruise ship, a ski instructor to faking his resume to land an accounting contract. That gave him fodder for quite a few of his tales. He was definitely an extrovert and very good with the ladies.

Tony was the other guy there. He was the grand old man of RSG despite being my age. We all looked up to him because of his experience and deep knowledge of the crimson arts. He’d been a Salsa performer and railed over three hundred women. Even then he was in great shape and projected a solid masculine presence.

An hour passed and whiskey flowed. A burlesque dancer was cavorting across the small raised stage wiggling her hips and showing skin. By my third whiskey her breasts had been freed from their velvet prison and she was dancing the Charlestone. I was walking Rakiya to the basement bar when Mick came over and grabbed me.

“Nick, do me a favour. I want you to use your pre-selection to help me pick up one of these girls.”

When women see a man out with a pretty girl, they look at him differently than if he was alone or with male friends. Deep in their hindbrain women have short-cuts to assess a man’s sexual market value and one is “since he was able to score this pretty young thing there must be something about him, something that I’m missing out on.” Thus, one great way to make women interested in you is to be seen with a pretty girl on your arm. We call this “pre-selection.”

Mick continued, “I’m going over to talk to those girls”. He nodded his head towards a group of three young girls standing against the bar. “Wait for me to open, then walk past with Rakiya and say to the girls, ‘Be careful of this guy here, he gets laid like a rock star.’”

I agreed, thinking of it as helping out a friend while continuing my learning process. Each time I saw Mick with a girl I went over and gave him this verbal pat on the back. More whiskey blurred my mind. Things were going great—we were swapping stories with the RSG guys, drinking, lots of ribaldry. Mick was copping off with some girl in a dark corner while Rakiya was pressed up against me all night, coming on to me. I’d already kissed her.

There’s a nightclub area in the basement that serves drinks and also has a stage where they do a bigger cabaret show. The toilets are just to the side of the stairs and, as we were coming down, I saw Mick. He was coming out of the women’s bathroom with a giggling girl close behind. She scurried off with a guilty expression, and he stopped when he saw me.

“I can’t believe it! I just got a blowjob in the toilets,” then he grinned broadly and said, “Cheers for the help!”

Next installment (Chapter Four, part three) in three days. Buy the full Balls Deep book in PDF for £10 here or in paperback for £20 here.

I don’t half bang on about “taking a risk” and “be playfully racist” when dealing with women. The last thing a hot girl who fancies you wants is for you to reveal yourself as a push-over. Imagine pulling a smoking hot chick in a club, getting her home, and then while you are retrieving a condom she undresses and….. she has a dick. I think that’s how girls feel when the “hawt” guy turns out to be a pussy. So, take a risk.

With girls, no topic is truly taboo. If you’re sharp, you can turn anything into seduction. I once spent a day in 2010 opening girls and just talking about coffee beans until they excused themselves. Of course that was just a theoretical exercise – there’s a definite bandwidth within which optimal topics reside and coffee beans should be no more an one minute of it, maximum. Generally I avoid anything gross that could trigger a gag reflex or physical disgust. It’s far safer to stick to moral taboos. So faeces, vomit and filching are out whereas Nazis, incest, paedos and slavery are in. As an example of how nothing is really off limits allow me to present a short snippet of Nazi Genocide Game.

I guess given the topic, that was pretty mild.